Seeds of Change

I’m under the vague impression that life is about continual change, growth & renewal. The previous 29 years of my life certainly have been. So I have given up trying to avoid FNGs (f**kin’ growth opportunities) and embraced them. Every day is a new opportunity and my life certainly reflects that. Last week I spoke with my director about leaving my current position and moving back to the program side. She wasn’t thrilled with my performance and I wasn’t either; I knew my heart was with the clients. There is an opportunity move to that side but it wasn’t my first choice. I’m going to go for it anyway and see what happens. It has a lot of opportunity and potential. But as my 30th birthday approaches, I’ve been thinking a lot. I’ve come to several realizations. 1.) I think too damn much. I get far too lost in my thoughts and get stuck inside my head and forget how to relax and simply see life as it is: a journey. 2.) My 20s were not the most fun decade of my life and my 30s are going to be a helluva lot better. I’m actually looking forward to them…so long as I don’t look to be in my 30s. J 3.) If I really expect my 30s to be different, what have I learned from my 20s that I can take with me to draw upon over the next 10 years? The answer to number 3 is a lot of things: I’ve had an incredible number of wonderful moments in my 20s .. and some very painful ones. In some instances, those two are intertwined. But I will draw upon my “win file”. A speaker I saw recently suggested compiling a win file and putting all the things in there that you have done of which you are proud. During difficult situations, pull some of those out and draw upon that memory. Currently I’m reading an incredible book called “Ask and It Is Given”. It is about how to properly ask for the things you desire and focus on being in the correct state of mind/state of being to receive those things. The exercises are supposed to produce desired effect similar to that of the win file. I’ve been doing these exercises every night for the last 3 nights and I look forward to them. I have noticed a change in my attitude and my outlook and I believe the physical manifestations of that will follow shortly.