To Be or Not to Be?

It's been awhile since I've posted an actual entry..I've been a bit busy celebrating my 30th as you can see. As time marches on - which it is so wont to do with no thought to anything else - I ponder where and what I'll be doing in 1 year, 5 years and 10 years. I've had a job change and I'm surviving it. It has its positives and its not so positives...most days I enjoy it. In my heart though, I know I will not be completely happy til I'm free to work when I choose. I just have to keep plugging away and moving towards my goals. At least I seem to have left my existential life crisis behind - for now. I'm sure one of those moments will rear its head again - usually does round about late fall. But what would my life be like if I were still in Wisconsin? Would I have found a job I was happy with? Would I be dating or in love? My initial thought is no - but who knows for certain. And I don't think about that too often. What I do think about however is whether or not I'll ever date again or have a boyfriend or - *GASP* - a husband. It seems completely foreign to me because I've been on my own for so long (ah another *GASP* moment - I've had 2 significant involvements in almost 6 years folks..that's a GD long time). There is a certain point when a woman's body kicks in and wants a baby. DON'T misunderstand me - I do NOT want a child right now but my body is telling me I should get to it in the next few years. I will never in my life be a woman who will have a child because it's time and everyone else is doing it. No child deserves that - ever. If I never marry, I'll adopt when I'm 40ish (depends on finances mainly). I'm comforted by my back-up plan (which seems to currently be my Plan A unfortunately). The question of love, marriage & children likes to sit down in my lap every now and again..these were just some of my musings. Nothing brilliant but I needed to put something down in words. Enjoy the holiday weekend y'all!