Dating

Anyone who knows me is aware of one fact: I HATE dating. I abhor it. I avoid it. In fact, I typically run screaming in the other direction whenever someone mentions a potential dating-type scenario or situation.


But I've decided all that must change. I have been single for far too long and it must be my fault. So I am busting down the dating door and getting back out there. I don't really want to and I still hate the thought of it but it seems I must venture forth.


So how will I accomplish this new goal or task I've chosen? Any way possible. I've agreed to let a friend introduce me to her ex-boyfriend's friends (weird I know), I'll meet men online or randomly in the grocery store (does that actually happen? People talk about it like it does but I've not heard one story begin with "we met in the express check-out lane"). By whatever means necessary, I'll start dating again.


You may be asking yourself where is her sudden interest in dating coming from? Here and there, random events, long lonely bitter cold nights, etc. And one other source: an unidentified situation with an X. I have no clue if we are any more than we have been in the past but we are venturing into our third get-together next week. That is the most we have seen each other in the last 10 years.


It sounds weird to try to date when I don't have that situation figured it out but it seems to work to my advantage to keep my options open. Every time I don't do that, I end up with no options. So what's a girl to do? Plan ahead, take initative, grab the bull by the horns, get back in the saddle..anything but tread water while looking into the murky depths of the X.


It certainly isn't that I wouldn't get back together with him, I would. I think he is an amazing person and I love having in my life. As a partner, I would be thrilled. But I'm not sure he wants that with me. At least not if the past is at all indicative of future events. Of course this is the first time in those 10 years that he has been truly single. Not living with anyone, not married, not separated, not dealing with a divorce..plain old single.


So I will do my best to keep my options open and not just tread murky, unknown waters.