Another roller coaster ride

I haven't really updated in over a month and there's good reason: life has been an amazing ride of late. Well it's always an amazing ride but it's been more apparent in the last few weeks.


We'll start with my career and then move onto the romance department (save the best for last you know)... I've felt as though I was at a standstill in the last month in terms of my career. I'm still apprenticing with Shaune Clarke and it's terrific. I write a few SEO articles for him every week and I get to learn a lot in the process. It's terrific and I enjoy it.


But I want more. My contract with Optibike has been cut down by 2/3 so consequently my income has gone down temporarily. I've reached out to a few people I've done work for and have gotten some projects that way.


But again I want more. I want to teach, coach and train. I had been coaching a former student for a month but she has had to go in another direction.


So I'm looking for places to teach and will be submitting some proposals this week to the Boulder Valley School District. It should be fun to teach again although I'm not feeling completely excited. I need new material and a new direction. I'm not sure what direction that is but I'm open to possibilities. So here's to new doors opening!


In a related note, I have booked my ticket for Ireland. I'm going to celebrate my birthday in one of the loveliest places I can imagine! I'm incredibly excited to go there and explore. I have to admit it took some guts for me to buy the ticket because I've only saved up enough to pay for the flight - I still have to create the money for food and lodging. It took a leap of faith but I went for it!


To make it easier I'll be working while I'm there because I'm using it as an experimental type trip. I want to see what it's going to take for me to work remotely and work abroad.


Naturally I haven't worked out the logistics - I'm not sure Optibike or Streamline will let you me work while I'm there but if they won't then I'm going to line up other clients. I really will have to since I'm going to be in Ireland for 18 days. We shall see how it happens but that's the intention I'm setting!


So that's my work update. On to my love life...


February began with 2 guys in my life: Scorpio and Pisces is how we'll refer to them. (Both water signs - interesting eh?!) The Scorpio was his usual self: fun, sexy and withdrawn emotionally. We'll talk about him more a bit later.


The Pisces was a new guy who I had met last summer. He lasted 3 dates and got the boot when he talked smack about my friends.


He just wasn't my cup of tea so I ended things with him - that was my first break up with a boy in a long, long time. Normally I just ignore them til they go away or wait for them to stop seeing me. About 90% of the time it's the latter.


I have to admit I did celebrate my courage for ending things with him in a reasonably mature and adult manner. :)


Now on to the Scorpio man. We had a very interesting month together. At some point there was a shift on the emotional side of things. I think it was a series of events - his racquetball accident, an incredibly fun night out for one of his friends (a birthday celebration) and some opening up on my part.


As we all know opening up is not the easiest thing for me and its extra EXTRA hard with him because he doesn't open up often nor easily.


In fact I tend to get very intellectual around him and have to consciously tap into my heart center. It can be challenging and February was no exception.


We started the month off with a Super Bowl party at his house (he's a huge Steelers fan) and continued to see each other at least weekly (sometimes more often) throughout the month.


Without going into too much detail about all of those events we'll skip ahead to the last few days with him. He's been planning a 3 month trip to Europe for awhile now and March 3rd was his leave date. So we had a farewell bash for him at the end of February and it was pretty crazy. I went out to meet him at 7pm and came back to my house the next morning at 7am. It was nutty but it was fun...and definitely a send-off worthy of him.


But he and I had one last farewell the night before he left. I helped him move and pack up his house for a few hours. While it was a tough night for me emotionally - I knew I would miss him and a few people called or stopped by to say their good-byes too which just made want to cry all the more! - it was great to see him for a few hours before his adventure began.


After a few hours of packing and cleaning we got everything done and he was ready to go. I told him I was leaving and we said our good-byes. We hugged, kissed and as I held in my tears, he told me he loved me.


To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. Shocked, amazed and full of wonder would be other adjectives and phrases I'd use to describe my feelings as well.


Naturally I said it back. I really meant it because I miss him. My heart longs for him and it feels like someone's tugging at the corners of it when I think about him.


But I'm also incredibly excited for him and for this journey he's on. After the difficult year or two he had in '07 and '08 these 3 months are exactly what his heart and soul need. I know that and I feel that which makes the longing a little easier to bear.


While I have no idea what will happen next I do know I care for him with all of my heart and I'll cherish the memories we had before he left.


When he comes back in June he's moving to Denver which also complicates things. It's only 40 minutes away but it adds another dimension to the involvement: if we decide to get together it takes a bit more planning and effort. So again I have no idea what the future holds but I'm happy for the way we parted. :)