Happy Birthday Jensen!

Today is Jensen Ackles' 30th birthday. Woo woo for today!


Actually Jensen's birthday was Saturday. :)

Good-bye February

So long sucker! Get out the damn door and don't let it hit you where the Goddess split you. :|


In case you didn't figure it out, I'm through with February. It was a crap month between being sick more often than not, struggles with the boy (henceforth referred to as Texas), and just not loving my daily commute.


The time thing has still been ever-present in my relationship with Texas. I think we have seen each other for less than 5 hours this month. That is HARD my friends. That is not much...not nearly as much as I want nor as much as he wants. And that's been one of our saving graces - we both want more. I know we'll get there.


As I've said earlier he is divorced with 2 kids and there have been some issues with his X over the last 2 weeks. But that's pretty private stuff mum's the word!


The time we have had together has been wonderful. I simply loving being in the same room with him and that's saying quite a bit. I've waited almost 8 years to find a man like him and every day he is someone I am grateful to have in my life. I continue to learn about myself and that is one of the most important things to me.


In other news, I'm still working at TSA. The daily commute is a bit of a drag - solely because I want to work, live and play in Boulder. I'm getting there! My freelance work has been great - I love it. When the copy gets posted to Dr. Mercola's web sites, I'll share it with you here.


My job is ok - not inspiring or challenging but it is a job and it takes care of my financial needs right now so again, my gratitude to the Universe.


I wish I had more exciting news to share - no, check that, I wish I had more insights and passions to share with you today but I am feeling pretty low energy and light-headed right now. I have felt this way since about 4am on Monday. *sigh*


I swear March is going to be 100% better, I swear!

Challenges..

I've often talked about how life is full of challenges and it's part of what makes life worth living. If we don't have challenges, we won't grow. And if we don't grow, we die. Period. It's that simple. Just as in nature, growth is part of living. And growth is preceded by change which is often in the form of a challenge.


For the last few weeks I've faced a big challenge with the man I am dating. He has 2 young daughters and a demanding job...not to mention friends, family, volunteer work and hobbies. All of those things add up to a full schedule which makes time for us a bit difficult to come by.


The other night we talked on the phone about a few things and haven't really decided what to do. We want to continue seeing each other and to build our relationship. We just don't know how to do that because neither one of us has really been down this path before.

And I'm ok with that. I'm ok with not knowing exactly how many nights he can give me from week to week. I'm ok with his kids being his first priority. Frankly, I would punch him in the head if they weren't. I'm ok with the fact that he volunteers and it takes up some of his free time. He wouldn't be who he is if he didn't have all of these things. I want him for who he is and all of those things make him the man he is.

What I'm not ok with is giving up or quitting because things are hard or because we have challenges. I've never been a person to back down from a challenge or a difficult situation...not if my heart wanted it.

And my heart wants him. A lot. More than I've wanted anyone else in a very, very long time.

I just don't know if he wants this enough. I guess time will tell.

And then there was one...

If you've read any of my previous posts you've been privvy to my dating life: the ups, the downs, the highs and lows. All good fun and every experience was worth the investment.

The whole purpose of multiple dating was to take the pressure off of just one man and let things naturally evolve and have fun. For the most part it was fun and I did enjoy myself. I met new people, went to new places and tried some new stuff. All good times in my book. ;)

Shortly after the new year I went on a first date with a man I met online. We chatted for a few days prior to our date so we both knew a bit about the other and we knew we shared a similar sense of humor. He was (and is - bit of foreshadowing there for you along with the title of this post) incredibly funny, smart and charming.

Still...I've had a few first dates that seemed as though they would work out well but in the end, didn't. So I wasn't holding my breath - we both went into the night with the expectation of hanging out and laughing..that's all.

And laugh we did! Throughout our trip to Home Depot, throughout our dinner and during our star-gazing, wine-sharing & snuggling time.

We had a brilliant first date and didn't want the night to end.

I can safely say I haven't had a date that great in years. I mean YEARS. In fact I don't think I've dated a man this terrific in close to 8 years.

So in the weeks following our first date we've seen each other as much as possible and talk frequently via email & phone conversations. Yes I am a smitten kitten. Don't you love that phrase?! And you'll be happy to know (or at least I'm happy to tell you), he is also. Well not a kitten but he's smitten too.

In some respects it seems odd to feel so much for a man I've only known for a brief period of time but when you know, you know. It's just that simple for me.

About damn time too - simple works for me. Complicated, withdrawn, mixed signals don't work and they never will. It's refreshing to be with a man who tells me how much he likes me and likes being with me. A man who respects me and treats with me kindness, friendship and adoration.

And do you know how I did it? I got very, very, very clear about what I wanted in a man and what I wanted in a relationship. Simply (there it is again - simple) this was done by making a list over the course of several days and the list contained everything I did NOT want in a man. And then I took the list and wrote out everything I did want based on my internal thoughts and based on my list of don't wants.

After I made the list I believed I'd find him and it would work. I felt the feelings of being loved, giving loving and receiving love.

Often the simple things are simple but not easy and sometimes believing was hard.

But I am nothing if not a persistent pain in the **s so I kept at it and he showed up.

I have a great feeling about him, about us and about what he adds to my life. I feel very, very good about this man and I hope we continue seeing each other. Either way it's already been a beneficial relationship for me and I hope he can say the same.

There is much more to share about my involvement with him but that is for another day, another post.