March Madness

My True Confession: Spring fever hits me every year and upsets my calm, complacent existence. No I'm not talkin basketball tournies & upsets - I'm talking about the itch I get every March. It never fails, every year around this time I want to chuck my life to the curb and change everything. I want to walk away from my job, my cell phone bill, my everyday living "adult" demands and become a hermit...or a wayward American adrift in Nepal...or a cosmpolitan debutante lunching in Manhattan...or a forgotten countryside dwelling writer typing away with the fury of a 1,000 demons. Any of those - none of those - it doesn't matter, I just want to forget it all and leave my adult self behind. Spring must be the culprit, the zenith of a year of oppression unleashing itself. Something's the culprit behind my dingy & moody daydreams because every March I get waylaid at work about some mistake (or several) that I make that inevitably fuck up something. It's never monumental or cataclysmic - just minor details I should have caught before making said mistake. And then the self-doubt, the questioning all set in - why I am doing this? why I am here? why do I bother? why do I go to the same damn job every day from 9-5 (or 6 or 7 as the case may be) doing the same irksome things with no results? And to those questions I have only one answer: to support my existence. What good is that?! None I tell you, none. Not for me anyway. Most days I enjoy work, somewhat. This entire month however has been a sham. I've not tackled nor embraced every day with the same gusto, the same heart & soul as I have before. I'm not sure I will again and I'm not sure why I haven't. Perhaps I'm not doing what my heart yearns for..well I'm sure I'm not actually. All I want out of life is to write and make a decent living..not Bob Bly $300,000 a year living, a modest income to support my writing habit. Instead I've thwarted all my internal efforts down this road. Until now. With a renewed vigor, I've jumped into the writing game head first. It's not quite sink or swim yet but I plan to make that jump within the next 12 months. Sooner than I originally had planned but it's the only salve, the only baum to nurse and heal my self-depreciating wounds. So I've incorporated my freelance business, opened my biz checking account & am beginning to network for new clients. My book proposal will be ready by spring's end and then we'll jump off the high dive - we'll see if anyone else out there thinks my novel merits consideration, publication, justification.

Four for Friday

You know I can't resist these things. Tell me 4 things about you I need to know! Here are mine. Four movies I love: 1. Bull Durham 2. Walk The Line 3. The Princess Bride 4. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle Four jobs I've had in my life: 1. PR 2. newspaper delivery 3. journalist 4. The Glue - current position :) But I do love it!! Four places I have lived: 1. Mayberry, WI (Mayville) 2. Oshkosh, WI 3. Milwaukee, WI 4. Denver, CO - current Four TV shows I love to watch: 1. Grey’s Anatomy 2. Supernatural 3. Buffy (hey no one said they had to be current shows!) 4. Whatever else is on when I'm too tired to read or work Four places I have been on vacation: 1. Key West & Cozumel, Mexico (same trip - counts as one!) 2. Cali 3. DC 4. Canada Four websites I visit daily: 1. Yahoo! 2. sweetpotatoqueens.com 3. Craigslist 4. Varies - usually short-track speedskating related Four of my favorite foods: 1. Bean burritos - preferably smothered with non-pork green chile 2. Strawberries & cream 3. Smoothies 4. Stir-fries Four places I would rather be right now: 1. Any place warm!!! 2. NYC 3. Shopping 4. Galapagos Islands

Tuesday's are boring

My true confession of the week: I don't want to be at work, I want to be at home writing my book. Every day of the week has a personality I think..except Tuesday. Wednesday is Hump Day because the week is 1/2 over. Thursday is a bit exciting because the weekend is about to begin. Friday is fun because hey! the weekend has arrived! Saturday is super fun - no work the next day so the day is entirely without commitments. Sunday is relaxing because Saturday was fun, maybe too much so and now some down time is needed. And Monday is blah and boring because the weekend is over and work has begun again. Or, the weekend may have been so good that it carries over into Monday and makes it a good day. That leaves Tuesday. Boring old Tuesday. The only reason I liked Tuesdays previously was because Supernatural was on. It has now moved to Thursdays so even that pick-me-up is gone. Hmmmph. I hate Tuesdays.

Why oh why?

Why do men act the way they do? And why do women act so dayum crazy? The two eternally asked questions that may never be answered. I went out with a guy from eHarmony about 2 weeks ago. We had a decent time - not a toe-tingling night but an okay night nonethless. He asked - several times - if I wanted to see him again. I said yes - both times he asked. He emailed after the date (2 days after proving he's not needy or so The Rules would have us believe) and asked again. I was ultra-busy at work and emailed him a few days later saying yes it would be fine to get together again so long as it's understood that I need to take things slowly. I was honest and forthright. And do you know what happened? I never heard back from him. And at this point, if he did email/phone/telepathetically contact me, I'd tell him to jump in an icy stream (we only have streams here in Colorado - large bodies of water are non-existent). Seriously - what the hell?? Because I took 3 days to write back and asked to move things slowly, suddenly I'm not as interesting? Whatever. So I'm back to Square One. No dates, no potentials (the one guy I was interested in now has a girlfriend because as we all know, good men don't stay single for long if they don't want to. Good women on the other hand can stay single for an eternity. Another long unsolved mystery in the history of humankind's existence) and I'm not happy about it. I'm dealing but I'm not thrilled. I'm out of the online dating pool - I just don't like it. So if any of you out there know of a good man in Colorado, send him my way. Peace out & enjoy your weekend. I'm certainly going to - man or no man.

Mmmm...raw

So it's been awhile since I've posted. I've been swamped at work and at home - freelance gigs have eaten up a lot of my free time. I also got sick just before the workload piled up. It was a rough couple of weeks! Since I've moved to Colorado I've gotten sick about every other month. I couldn't quite understand why and I'm still not sure about it. In January, I began taking vitamins & mineral supplements from a company called Melaleuca. I like them a lot and they have definitely helped. Last week was the first time I had been sick since December... a vast improvement over last year. My eating habits are the same but I'll admit my stress level is a bit higher and the pollution of this city is amazing. We have smog just like LA, Dallas, etc. I'm sure that plays a factor in my health - how could it not?! Before getting sick last week, I had joined an online group for a raw food challenge for the month of March. Everything you eat is raw - 100%. No you don't eat raw chicken or eggs or beef. You eat lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, sprouted grains and add Bragg's Aminos (and the like) to your meals for fortifiers. I lasted 2.5 days for a couple of reasons. 1.) My first grocery bill was $50...and that was enough for smoothies for the week and a couple of salads. When I bought 65% of the list we were given, my total came to $100. $150 for a week of groceries is more than I can afford. I spend $50-$60 and that's when I buy all organic (which I do about 90% of the time). 2.) The $$ wasn't the only issue - the prep time involved is extensive. I've spent 4-6 hrs in the kitchen between Sunday night, Monday night & Tuesday night. I don't have 2 hrs to spend in the kitchen every damn day - ain't happenin'. I'm not that patient and I don't like to cook quite that much. 3.) Not the most practical of all options. It's not easy to stay home and decline a friend's request to go to dinner. I'm happy to eat a salad with all the veggies & fruits I can get but to bring my own dressing? I can't do it. I'm not that much of a diva and I won't become one now. 4.) Have you ever tried to deny a PMS'ing woman's cravings? Don't do it. I'm telling you, she'll eat you for a snack and then get her hands on whatever she's craving. That's where I'm at - get out of my way and let me eat folks. So my decision was to go organic & raw as much as possible with only two cheats per week: one pop and one brownie/cookie/etc. I already eat a lot of fruits & veggies and this experience has given me so many new recipes and ideas that it will absolutely carry into my everyday living. Despite the sticker shock at the checkout line, it was well worth it. Oh and I really dig Kombucha drinks - they're yummy in an odd way and really good for you. Give 'em a try!