Well it looks like I'm going to have a visitor in the month of August. No definite dates have been set but tentatively sometime before the 20th. I have a wedding back home on August 25th so I have to be back there by the 21st for dress fittings, showers, etc.
Isn't that exciting?! You know what's even cooler about it? I set the intention last night for the two of us to spend a weekend together. Granted my intention was by the end of July but still...I'm happy to see him at all. And at least I'll have some things figured out in terms of my living situation and my job/income by then.
No news on either front (job or house)...but I believe it will work out and everything will fall into place easily and without much effort on my part. It will be easy in other words!
You'll be the first to know when that happens!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Uncertainty
Welcome to another chapter in my ridiculously insane life.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this here but my roommate told me he is going to rent my part of the house starting in July. And he told me 4 days before I left for Cozumel.
Now my schedule for the 6 weeks after Cozumel is a bit off the wall...even for me. Cozumel was 8 days then I was home for 5 days. After those 5 days I flew to Wisconsin where I'm spending 16 days in Wisconsin. Next I fly home, sleep in my bed for a night and then take off for Longmont for 8 days. After Longmont I'm home again for a night or two and then I'm watching some dogs for another 4 days.
All of that happens between April 27th and June 14th.
I'm a bit stressed just thinking about it. So somewhere in the next 7-14 days I have to figure out where I'm going to be moving to on July 1st.
But before I can do that I have to figure out how I'm going to pay rent. In other words I basically have to quadruple my profits by that date...preferably well before the actual date so I can sign a lease and have some money for a security deposit.
I know I'm supposed to do all that I can, believe in the outcome I want and then allow it to happen but there's that darn trust issue again.
Almost every day I struggle with the idea that the Universe is going to take care of me and provide for me. If my brain can't see the "how" of a situation it fights me. It fights my internal dialogue with negativity, doubts and nagging disbelief. It exhausts me.
Now's a pretty good time to stop all of that don't you think?! I do!!!
At least I am aware of the dialogue that's banging around in there and I can see/hear the thoughts and release them. One of these days those thoughts are going to lessen and eventually disappear. Oh what a happy day that will be!!!!
And what a happy day it will be when I can fully support myself as a copywriter.
Not much other news really...nothing in boyland. Surprised are you?! ;) I have a feeling Detroit will pop up when he wants to visit and not much before then.
That's fine...all I was hoping for in that situation was a fun weekend together. Two time zones is a whole lotta distance between two people. Especially two people who feel like we do: we don't want to get married yet, don't want kids, don't want a house, don't even want a dog. In essence neither of us wants much in the way of responsibilities.
Of course you'll be updated when I do have a visit. Keep your fingers crossed for me...I'd be quite happy to have a few days of fun to help ease this tension and stress!
Til then, I'm off to work more...wish me abundance! I wish the same for you in every way.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this here but my roommate told me he is going to rent my part of the house starting in July. And he told me 4 days before I left for Cozumel.
Now my schedule for the 6 weeks after Cozumel is a bit off the wall...even for me. Cozumel was 8 days then I was home for 5 days. After those 5 days I flew to Wisconsin where I'm spending 16 days in Wisconsin. Next I fly home, sleep in my bed for a night and then take off for Longmont for 8 days. After Longmont I'm home again for a night or two and then I'm watching some dogs for another 4 days.
All of that happens between April 27th and June 14th.
I'm a bit stressed just thinking about it. So somewhere in the next 7-14 days I have to figure out where I'm going to be moving to on July 1st.
But before I can do that I have to figure out how I'm going to pay rent. In other words I basically have to quadruple my profits by that date...preferably well before the actual date so I can sign a lease and have some money for a security deposit.
I know I'm supposed to do all that I can, believe in the outcome I want and then allow it to happen but there's that darn trust issue again.
Almost every day I struggle with the idea that the Universe is going to take care of me and provide for me. If my brain can't see the "how" of a situation it fights me. It fights my internal dialogue with negativity, doubts and nagging disbelief. It exhausts me.
Now's a pretty good time to stop all of that don't you think?! I do!!!
At least I am aware of the dialogue that's banging around in there and I can see/hear the thoughts and release them. One of these days those thoughts are going to lessen and eventually disappear. Oh what a happy day that will be!!!!
And what a happy day it will be when I can fully support myself as a copywriter.
Not much other news really...nothing in boyland. Surprised are you?! ;) I have a feeling Detroit will pop up when he wants to visit and not much before then.
That's fine...all I was hoping for in that situation was a fun weekend together. Two time zones is a whole lotta distance between two people. Especially two people who feel like we do: we don't want to get married yet, don't want kids, don't want a house, don't even want a dog. In essence neither of us wants much in the way of responsibilities.
Of course you'll be updated when I do have a visit. Keep your fingers crossed for me...I'd be quite happy to have a few days of fun to help ease this tension and stress!
Til then, I'm off to work more...wish me abundance! I wish the same for you in every way.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Pictures
Aren't I cute?! :) These are all from Cozumel courtesy of Lisa. She had over 600 photos!!! Wow. I had a great time looking through them..so glad someone got a shot of me in that red dress.
Whatever Happens Is Ok
It really has been a stressful month. I just approximated how many days I will sleep in my own bed between the end of April and the end of May...do you know how many?? About 6 I think. 6 nights in my bed. 6 days with my dog and 6 days of normalcy.
Some people love change and thrive on it. I like it in doses but I also love my routines. I'm a Taurus, we're all about comfort, security and steadfastness. This month is the opposite!
I've seen it in myself over the last few days. I'm less patient, less forgiving (of myself in particular) and I get frustrated easier. Those are not feelings I want to experience while I'm spending 16 days with my family. I just haven't been my perky self the last 2 days and I feel sad for that. I want to be happier and lighter when I'm with my family.
Especially since tomorrow is my birthday!
YAY me!!! I'm so happy to mark another year in my life. And what a year it has been! Absolutely incredible. So many new experiences, new people and new events in my life.
Not sure what I'm doing for my big day. I may get breakfast in bed which would be awesome...that is a family tradition. We give the birthday person breakfast in bed - we even give them a special plate to eat on that says "Happy birthday!". How cute is that?!!
So tomorrow signals another year. I am happy for many improvements I've made but there are still miles to go in other areas...especially my love life.
This stress has made me a bit wiggy and I'm doing things I wouldn't normally do including sending a text message after having a drink (if you know me you'll know one is my limit because I'm so small and don't drink much so my tolerance is incredibly low).
And that's exactly what I did last night.
It wasn't a sappy or stupid message but it was the fact that I had already emailed him this week (twice I think). I had sent photos from Cozumel to him on Monday and Tuesday.
But since I don't do the dating thing or the more than friends thing all that often, I have no idea how much contact is appropriate...or how much is too much. So I decided this was enough contact from me for at least a week.
He doesn't seem to mind my emails and texts because he responds but I'd like for him to initiate a conversation too. No more emails or texts for at least 7 days!!!
So the stress is making me overreact and overanalyze everything because I'm a girl and that's what we do. Aren't we silly?! I just keep reminding myself that whatever happens is ok. The world won't end if I never see him again and it won't end if I do. It won't end if he calls me and it won't end if he doesn't. Whatever happens is ok.
Anyway, that's my story. I'm goofy when it comes to boys. I prefer to lay my cards on the table and say what I think and what I feel...whatever happens after that is what happens.
But it doesn't seem to work out all that well when I take that approach. It seems to be more feasible to test the waters a bit, show some interest and then see if he reciprocates or takes the lead from there.
Dating sucks and I hate IT. Of course this isn't even dating...this is just a romantic interest. At least it's good practice for me so when I am dating I'll have warmed up my rusty self!
Perhaps I'll have a birthday wish from him or maybe not...who knows? We'll see tomorrow. Either way, it's fine. I'm happy, healthy and alive - what could be better?!!!
I'll post pics for you tomorrow - some remembrances from my 30th and Mexico.
Enjoy your day!
Some people love change and thrive on it. I like it in doses but I also love my routines. I'm a Taurus, we're all about comfort, security and steadfastness. This month is the opposite!
I've seen it in myself over the last few days. I'm less patient, less forgiving (of myself in particular) and I get frustrated easier. Those are not feelings I want to experience while I'm spending 16 days with my family. I just haven't been my perky self the last 2 days and I feel sad for that. I want to be happier and lighter when I'm with my family.
Especially since tomorrow is my birthday!
YAY me!!! I'm so happy to mark another year in my life. And what a year it has been! Absolutely incredible. So many new experiences, new people and new events in my life.
Not sure what I'm doing for my big day. I may get breakfast in bed which would be awesome...that is a family tradition. We give the birthday person breakfast in bed - we even give them a special plate to eat on that says "Happy birthday!". How cute is that?!!
So tomorrow signals another year. I am happy for many improvements I've made but there are still miles to go in other areas...especially my love life.
This stress has made me a bit wiggy and I'm doing things I wouldn't normally do including sending a text message after having a drink (if you know me you'll know one is my limit because I'm so small and don't drink much so my tolerance is incredibly low).
And that's exactly what I did last night.
It wasn't a sappy or stupid message but it was the fact that I had already emailed him this week (twice I think). I had sent photos from Cozumel to him on Monday and Tuesday.
But since I don't do the dating thing or the more than friends thing all that often, I have no idea how much contact is appropriate...or how much is too much. So I decided this was enough contact from me for at least a week.
He doesn't seem to mind my emails and texts because he responds but I'd like for him to initiate a conversation too. No more emails or texts for at least 7 days!!!
So the stress is making me overreact and overanalyze everything because I'm a girl and that's what we do. Aren't we silly?! I just keep reminding myself that whatever happens is ok. The world won't end if I never see him again and it won't end if I do. It won't end if he calls me and it won't end if he doesn't. Whatever happens is ok.
Anyway, that's my story. I'm goofy when it comes to boys. I prefer to lay my cards on the table and say what I think and what I feel...whatever happens after that is what happens.
But it doesn't seem to work out all that well when I take that approach. It seems to be more feasible to test the waters a bit, show some interest and then see if he reciprocates or takes the lead from there.
Dating sucks and I hate IT. Of course this isn't even dating...this is just a romantic interest. At least it's good practice for me so when I am dating I'll have warmed up my rusty self!
Perhaps I'll have a birthday wish from him or maybe not...who knows? We'll see tomorrow. Either way, it's fine. I'm happy, healthy and alive - what could be better?!!!
I'll post pics for you tomorrow - some remembrances from my 30th and Mexico.
Enjoy your day!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Midwest Living
I remember why I don't live here anymore...I spent all of Saturday at a friend's wedding and everyone was married with children (or expecting).
And that's exactly what I don't want (at least right now).
The very thought of being responsible for another human being makes me feel like vomiting. As does the thought of getting married.
Thank heavens I live in a city where I won't be shunned for those feelings!
I miss Colorado.
And that's exactly what I don't want (at least right now).
The very thought of being responsible for another human being makes me feel like vomiting. As does the thought of getting married.
Thank heavens I live in a city where I won't be shunned for those feelings!
I miss Colorado.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Blocked Again
So nothing happened yesterday with Detroit. He got shipped out on an early flight and wasn't allowed to make the arrangements. We never found time to get together.
He said he'd like to come back to Denver soon and hang out so we'll see. I'd like that very much, he's very sweet, cute, smart and a lot of fun. And truly when have I ever turned down the company of an attractive, attentive male?! Probably never.
Speaking of Detroit, I'm catching quite a bit of heat from others about our romantic interest in each other. I ran into a few Cozumel friends at a Cinco de Mayo party last night and my tryst with Detroit was a hot topic of discussion.
And these were men who wanted the gossip! So funny. I simply stayed quiet and told me them it wasn't there business.
But I did let it slip that we (Detroit and I) are going to see each other again (hopefully).
Anyway, there's your update. Nothing terribly exciting but I will have pictures for you soon. I know I keep teasing you but you'll see some here I promise!
He said he'd like to come back to Denver soon and hang out so we'll see. I'd like that very much, he's very sweet, cute, smart and a lot of fun. And truly when have I ever turned down the company of an attractive, attentive male?! Probably never.
Speaking of Detroit, I'm catching quite a bit of heat from others about our romantic interest in each other. I ran into a few Cozumel friends at a Cinco de Mayo party last night and my tryst with Detroit was a hot topic of discussion.
And these were men who wanted the gossip! So funny. I simply stayed quiet and told me them it wasn't there business.
But I did let it slip that we (Detroit and I) are going to see each other again (hopefully).
Anyway, there's your update. Nothing terribly exciting but I will have pictures for you soon. I know I keep teasing you but you'll see some here I promise!
Easy Like Sunday Morning
I once met a man who had a gorgeous BMW sedan and he wanted to get personalized plates. So when I asked him what those plates were going to say he told me "Easy Like Sunday Morning".
I was so appalled at the idea of slapping a Lionel Richie song on the front and back end of a sleek German racehorse that I truly couldn't imagine dating him again. Ever. But do you think I listened to that woman's intuition? Nope. I went out with him once more and had the worst date of my entire life.
He took me to a Brewers game...which is always a huge plus in my book (any baseball game for that matter)...but then proceeded to sit in TGIFriday's and watch the game on the TV. The TV! The horror.
The absolute audacity shocked me. He actually told me he thought watching the game on the TV in TGIFriday's was just as good as watching it in the stands.
My dear friends, it is not just as good. It's not even remotely close to being as good. Listening to the game in a hammock in your backyard on the radio with a tall, cool glass of lemonade is better than sitting in friggin' TGIFriday's.
It's an absolute tease to sit near the stands...near the sweet smell of peanuts, the crack of a bat and the soft scent of the newly-mowed grass. An absolute tease. An insult to all true baseball fans everywhere.
And the fact that I explained this to him and he still didn't care told me to ditch him and forget it.
So I finally did and that was that.
My point to this whole story is that it's damn near summer (although you'd never know it by Colorado temperatures and freezing rain), baseball has begun and I'm heading to the ballpark! It's my birthday on the 17th and we're going to catch a Brewers game the weekend after.
Who's coming with me?!
I was so appalled at the idea of slapping a Lionel Richie song on the front and back end of a sleek German racehorse that I truly couldn't imagine dating him again. Ever. But do you think I listened to that woman's intuition? Nope. I went out with him once more and had the worst date of my entire life.
He took me to a Brewers game...which is always a huge plus in my book (any baseball game for that matter)...but then proceeded to sit in TGIFriday's and watch the game on the TV. The TV! The horror.
The absolute audacity shocked me. He actually told me he thought watching the game on the TV in TGIFriday's was just as good as watching it in the stands.
My dear friends, it is not just as good. It's not even remotely close to being as good. Listening to the game in a hammock in your backyard on the radio with a tall, cool glass of lemonade is better than sitting in friggin' TGIFriday's.
It's an absolute tease to sit near the stands...near the sweet smell of peanuts, the crack of a bat and the soft scent of the newly-mowed grass. An absolute tease. An insult to all true baseball fans everywhere.
And the fact that I explained this to him and he still didn't care told me to ditch him and forget it.
So I finally did and that was that.
My point to this whole story is that it's damn near summer (although you'd never know it by Colorado temperatures and freezing rain), baseball has begun and I'm heading to the ballpark! It's my birthday on the 17th and we're going to catch a Brewers game the weekend after.
Who's coming with me?!
Friday, May 04, 2007
Back Home
All right, I'm not jumping for joy to be back in Colorado. I admit it. This is the first trip I've ever taken when I haven't been crazy excited to come back here. Usually I'm ecstatic at the thought of my Rocky Mountains gracing the skyline. But not today. I miss Cozumel. I miss the island breeze, the soft island Mexican music and the salty sea air. Truly I couldn't live there but I could see myself spending a couple of weeks there on a regular basis! Island living is good for the soul!
I'll give you a quick recap of the week (post drama)...Saturday was a day of relaxation. Sunday was the very bad scuba experience. Monday was a day on the scooters checking out the island. Tuesday we walked around town and visited off-the-beaten path places. Wednesday was our ruins tour (a solid 14+ hour day), Thursday was just relaxation in the ocean and on the beach!
I'll post photos when I get them but for now, just imagine 7 days of peaceful waves, calming breezes and sheer island-induced bliss!
I did get to spend more time with Detroit but not nearly enough. We sat by the beach one night under the stars and listened to music.
We also did the ruins tour together on Wednesday and we spent a few hours by the ocean yesterday afternoon.
I enjoyed the time we had together but of course wish there had been more. He is here in Denver til tomorrow night and we may find time to see each other. That is my hope anyway since we never got to say a proper good-bye. We were always very careful not to chat in public so we didn't get to hug at the airport today.
The whole thing was really silly actually because if you watched us in a group, we rarely made eye contact. But if no one was around? We were quite cozy. A few people noticed our interest in each other but for the most part, we kept it very covert so he wouldn't be yelled at again.
It was pretty difficult for me to keep my mouth shut about the whole thing because she continued to flirt with him in front of me and flirt with other men (in front of me and in front of Detroit). In my opinion, that was incredibly disrespectful and I don't tolerate that behavior from anyone. But I felt I had to simply ignore her childish behavior in this situation and so I did.
Anyway, it was a great trip minus that drama. I'm excited to share photos with you!!!
And wish me a good-bye visit from my new Detroit friend. :)
I'll give you a quick recap of the week (post drama)...Saturday was a day of relaxation. Sunday was the very bad scuba experience. Monday was a day on the scooters checking out the island. Tuesday we walked around town and visited off-the-beaten path places. Wednesday was our ruins tour (a solid 14+ hour day), Thursday was just relaxation in the ocean and on the beach!
I'll post photos when I get them but for now, just imagine 7 days of peaceful waves, calming breezes and sheer island-induced bliss!
I did get to spend more time with Detroit but not nearly enough. We sat by the beach one night under the stars and listened to music.
We also did the ruins tour together on Wednesday and we spent a few hours by the ocean yesterday afternoon.
I enjoyed the time we had together but of course wish there had been more. He is here in Denver til tomorrow night and we may find time to see each other. That is my hope anyway since we never got to say a proper good-bye. We were always very careful not to chat in public so we didn't get to hug at the airport today.
The whole thing was really silly actually because if you watched us in a group, we rarely made eye contact. But if no one was around? We were quite cozy. A few people noticed our interest in each other but for the most part, we kept it very covert so he wouldn't be yelled at again.
It was pretty difficult for me to keep my mouth shut about the whole thing because she continued to flirt with him in front of me and flirt with other men (in front of me and in front of Detroit). In my opinion, that was incredibly disrespectful and I don't tolerate that behavior from anyone. But I felt I had to simply ignore her childish behavior in this situation and so I did.
Anyway, it was a great trip minus that drama. I'm excited to share photos with you!!!
And wish me a good-bye visit from my new Detroit friend. :)
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